…….TEXAS LONGHORN FOOTBALL IS UNDER A MICROSCOPE LIKE NEVER BEFORE…..AND JUDGING FROM THE REVIEWS FROM YESTERDAY’S SPRING SCRIMMAGE, SOME ARE GUSHING…..AS FOR QUARTERBACKS, LOOKS LIKE IT WILL BE A THREE MAN RACE, RIGHT DOWN TO THE FIRST GAME WEEK…..
ABOUT THAT NATIONAL COLLEGE BASKETBALL
CHAMPIONSHIP…U CONN IS THE FAVORITE TONITE AGAINST BUTLER…..BUT BUTLER MAY NOT HAVE THE BUTTERFLIES, SINCE THEY WERE IN THIS POSITION LAST YEAR…..TV SHOW STARTS AT EIGHT…..GAME AROUND 8-32…..
AND THEN THERE IS ONE MORE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME TUESDAY NITE…..TEXAS A&M VERSUS NOTRE DAME FOR THE WOMEN’S BASKETBALL TITLE….AGGIES AND IRISH BOTH PULLED OFF HUGE UPSETS YESTERDAY IN THE SEMI FINAL GAMES…..
PRO BASKETBALL IS COMING UP ON ITS PLAYOFFS…..AND THE SPURS LOOK A LITTLE BETTER….ITS HELPS THEY BEAT PHOENIX 114-97 SUNDAY TO KEEP THE FIRST PLACE LEAD AT 2 ½ OVER THE LAKERS…..
IN GOLF, MASTERS WEEK….PHIL MICKELSON LOOKS GOOD FOR IT, AFTER WINING THE HOUSTON OPEN YESTERDAY…..
IN BASEBALL…RANGERS COMPLETE THE SWEEP BEATING BOSTON 5-1…..ASTROS FALL AGAIN TO PHILLY 7-3AND FROM THE JAMIE AND BOB SHOW ON 98-1 KVET - FM....
HOWDY TEXANS……CHECK YOURSELF FOR FEATHERS…..IF YOU TOOK PART IN THE INTERNATIONAL PILLOW FIGHT DAY SATURDAY …..PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD WERE P-POUNDING P-PEOPLE WITH P-PILLOWS IN P-PUBLIC P-PERFORMANCES – FROM AUSTIN TO AMSTERDAM….FROM DENTON TO DUSSELDORF….FROM SAN ANTONIO TO SASKATOON….
ONE SURVIVOR IN HONG KONG CLAIMS HE JUST MET HIS WIFE AT THEIR PILLOW FIGHT AND NOW PLAN TO SHARE IT….THE PILLOW….
NOW LETS GET A REPORT FROM THE COUNTRY MUSIC STARDOM SHOW LAST NITE….JAMIE??…PLEASE REVIEW….
SO ALL IN ALL, A BETTER SHOW LAST NITE THAN THE CHARLIE SHEEN STAGE SHOW….HIS FIRST SHOW IN DETROIT, HE WAS BOOED OFF THE STAGE….BUT LAST NITE IN CHICAGO, MOST OF THE AUDIENCE STAYED THRU THE INTERMISSION….….THE FIRST REVIEW FROM LAST NITE IS OUT…..RICHARD ROPER WRITING THIS MORNING IN THE CHICAGO SUN TIMES….DESCRIBES THE CROWD AS A CROSS BETWEEN 3 THOUSAND DRUNKEN FRAT BOYS AND THE ‘C’ BOARDING SECTION OF SOUTHWEST AIRLINES…..
I CAN THINK OF ONLY ONE OTHER SHOW THAT ATTRACTS THAT KIND OF CROWD……AMERICA’S FAVORITE RADIO GAME SHOW……CHOOSE THE NEWS…..GAME OF 3 HEADLINES…….ONE GETS A FRONT ROW SEAT ….AFTER DON MILLER CHECKS TRAFFIC…..
CHOOSE THE NEWS….THREE HEADLINES…..
ONE………A BENDER AT THE BAKERY
TWO………LEAVING IS BELIEVING
THREE…….THAT’S NOT MY CHAIR….
LADIES……ARE YOU EXPERIENCING FERTILITY PROBLEMS…..YOU’VE TRIED EVERYTHING AND EVERYWAY TO START A LITTLE FAMILY…..THE PILLS, AND THE ACCUPUNCTURE….THE INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOS AND THE PEEK A BOO OUTFITS…..THE HYPNOSIS AND THE HEALTH FOOD, WITH THE LOVE AND THE THING…..AH HAH….YOUR TROUBLES ARE OVER……YOU NEED TO FLY TO LONDON, CHECK INTO THE BEST WESTERN MOORE PLACE HOTEL AND SIT IN THE BLUE RECEPTIONIST’S CHAIR…..THE LAST SEVEN WOMEN TO SIT IN THAT CHAIR HAVE TURNED UP PREGNANT…..OBVIOUSLY THE OFFICE MANAGER IS ASKING THE HOTEL MANAGER TO REPLACE THE CHAIR….ONE OF THE PREGNANT RECEPTIONISTS HAS NEVER BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE….TWO MONTHS ALONG, AND SHE ASKED THE DOCTOR WHEN WILL THE BABY START TO MOVE…..HE SAID RIGHT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL…..
TODAY’S PRETZEL LOGIC:
I BELIEVE LIVING IN A NUDIST COLONY TAKES ALL THE FUN OUT OF HALLOWEEN
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